I Covet Cheese!

June 9, 2009 at 06:03 2 comments

Pocket Buddha: I want a cheese pizza.

Das Piper: oh?

Pocket Buddha: well, actually, I want a pound of melted cheese dipped in ranch sauce. . . But I can put up with a crust because it would make it easier to eat.

Das Piper: It’s nice to see that you think these things out before you demand them.

Update 2 hours later:

As it turns out. . .Pizza Hut actually offers a pound of melted cheese with ranch dipping sauce conveniently folded over in pizza crust so that it is easy to eat. . . like a big old pound of cheese sandwich.

I walked 3 blocks. . . outside. . . Where people could see me. . . In yoga pants that were too short for me and a hooded sweatshirt that was 3 sized too big and not entirely clean to get this pound of cheese sandwich.

One woman was so disgusted with me that she could not contain her reaction and took her toddler to wait outside rather than stand next to me in line.

Then I ate the entire thing while watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 with my big stretch marked gut hanging out.

I am officially too pregnant to care what you think!


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

GIST #14 of 365 GIST #15 of 365

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. dk  |  June 9, 2009 at 19:41

    You are officialy too hilarious too read read while eating my morning muf – hack choke spit bran bits on screen – in.

    We could add a couple of inches of groovy hippie fabric to the bottom of the yoga pants darlin’.

  • 2. Schmutzie  |  June 14, 2009 at 05:17

    So being pregnant is also kind of like being a drunken frat boy?


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What is a Pocket Buddha?

The pocket Buddha is a talisman, whether the pocket is in our mind or our jeans, the pocket Buddha is there to add a touch of Zen to our lives. He smiles from his dark penny and used tissue filled abode and reminds us simultaneously to go with the flow of our lives and to keep our goals, hopes and dreams ahead of us. At least one moment everyday, the satisfaction of a project completed, the taste of a meal we managed to make without burning, the extraordinary patience we somehow managed to show in the most frustrating of times, the pocket Buddha throws us a pocket-lint sized piece of nirvana, and for that I am very grateful.

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