The Feelings I Have Been Botteling About 5 Anonymous People

1) I am sorry that the recent changes in my life have made me less capable of giving you what you want from me. I am even more sorry that because of this you have chosen to simply discard me. It would have been nice to have the support and help I have given you over the last 4 years reciprocated.

2) I am angry with you, and I probably will be for a long time. I am so angry with you that I cannot even bring myself to miss our friendship. I am, however, glad to see that you have decided to start talking to some of our old friends again, even after you told me that you thought they were pathetic drunks.

3) Thank you for all of your recent support. I know that I have done some pretty shitty things to you in the past, and that there is absolutely no reason for you to show me any forgiveness, let alone extend the hand of friendship. You are, by far, the most suprising friend of this year.

4)If you weren’t such a modest person I would probably hate you for being so good at everything. I must confess that the only reason I really liked basketball in elementry school was because it was the only thing that I could do better. But, since you are so modest, and are so willing to help anyone you meet with anything they ask that I am proud to have called you friend for the last 10 years.

5) I would like to congradulate you on having convinced everyone around you, including yourself, that you don’t have a problem. I know that this will result in a few more years of you coasting drunkenly through your life in much the same way you have been.