Sovereignty

This past Friday, an interesting book fell into my lap, Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Before I go any further, I should mention that I, regardless of what anyone might say about how no baby is by the book, am an avid reader of all things baby and parenting.

Reading for me is not just a lifelong passion, but also my first choice weapon against becoming overwhelmed and panicked in new and unknown situations. And even though I have had plentiful past experience with babies and children, motherhood is absolutely new and unknown and overwhelming at times. It is so much more than simply caring for an infant in a way that I can not put into words.

And so my reading had taken me far and wide across the entire spectrum of parenting philosophies. But it wasn’t until this book that fell into my lap on Friday that I found one that helped me put name and deliberate technique to the feelings I have about motherhood and the kind of parent I wish to be.

Mindful parenting is about striving to be present and aware in every moment of your child, who they are, and what their needs are. And realizing that what works for them and you one day may not work the next.

One aspect of this that I found particularly interesting was the idea of sovereignty.

Sovereignty in that he is his own person, in that he will make his own decisions. It was a concept that I had not taken notice of until I picked up this book. And yet I feel like I had been unknowingly grasping for it the past few months.

This concept of Oliver’s sovereignty allowed me to finally put into words what I believe my roll as a parent is: To create an environment where my son can safely explore, develop, and exercise this sovereignty.

Sometimes that will mean providing direct guidance and support. Sometimes that will mean letting him try and fail and learn on his own as I watch on. Sometimes this will mean setting clear and consistent boundaries. And sometimes it will mean letting him set his own.

The over all idea being that I need to be present and mindful, I need to be in tune with my son and who he is as a person to know when and how to take these actions.

In picking up this book, I was able to realize and pin down that to acknowledge and have respect for Oliver’s sovereignty is at the very heart of the kind of parent that I want to be.

So thank you to whichever cosmic force or Deity or whatever is responsible for thrusting this book into my lap.